I am going to share some recent and not so recent events in my life that keep leaving me disappointed.
As I have talked about before, I was molested when I was 13. I’m not sure that I have talked about my family’s involvement in those events. Months beforehand, my cousin, who was 9 at the time, experienced the exact same from the same man. Mel had not only molested her, he had exposed himself to her. After him doing that, my cousin went to her mom, my aunt Cindy, and told her what he had done. My aunt proceeded to not believe her. Then after what happened to me, she finally was faced with the truth.
The years after we’re full of us trying to forgive. Forgive Mel, forgive Cindy. Forgive Mel for hurting us and to forgive Cindy for putting a man above her family. We managed to come to that point. I love my aunt Cindy. She has grown and she has taken care of me. But her living situation has not changed as much as it should have. She still has let men live in her house. She has one living there now.
Chris is my uncles childhood friend. He lives with Cindy. During his stay there, cindy has grown to care for him as they help one another. During this time, my mom and I were letting my uncle live with us as he was trying to recover from alcoholism. He had relapsed many times and we had given him many chances. It came to a point where he was refusing to stop drinking and lying about us to others in our lives.
My uncle was friends with my moms friends husband. Rita, my moms friend, was coming to my house and caring for me because I am very sick. It was a heaven sent. My uncle proceeded to lie to her husband, telling him that I was faking the severity of my illness for attention. Rita’s husband told her not to come to my house anymore because it was not necessary.
I am trying to get on disability because my illness has made it so I can’t work or go to school. My uncle doing this could have damaged this process and could have made it impossible for me to get better. We proceeded to kick him out.
My mom told my uncle and Chris that she did not want them to come to the house when she wasn’t there. He made plans to come with Chris when my mom was here so he could get his stuff. He told my mom that he wouldn’t come without her there. What does he do? He proceeds to come with Chris at 10 a.m. I’m asleep half naked in my bed. I wake up to the sound of them in my room taking the TV that he had lent me. They also proceeded to try to take things that weren’t there’s. The last time had felt that exposed and that disrespected was when I was molested. There is a man not related to me in my room, without permission, while I’m almost naked.
After my mom found out from my aunt Theresa. She called my aunt cindy and asked her why they did that. My aunt cindy knew of the rule my mom put forth, she was going to come with them, and knew that Chris and my uncle wanted and were going to disobey. She told my aunt Theresa but neglected to tell my mom. After cindy was confronted, she told my mom that “she made a decision and my mom needed to get over it.” My mom could have called me to wake up and informed me but instead my uncle and his friend were prioritized over us. Doesn’t all of this sound like it’s happened before?
Cindy neglecting to inform us about a man, and I end up in a situation that I can’t control. I end up with my privacy violated. I’m not angry in this situation. I’m frustrated and disappointed. My mom and I are constantly going out of our way to love our family and we get betrayed by them over and over again. We aren’t saints, I know that. But I would never put my family in the situations that my uncle and aunt have put us in.
So now, we have to take a step back. We have to set strict boundaries with our family. I am so utterly disappointed. I love my family but I can’t keep doing this with them.