Relationships are very important for people’s lives. Having others to go through life with is essential for growing. God made us this way, Adam and Eve. But I have a problem, I have no idea how to talk with other people. And I’m not the only one, my generation has no clue how to make connections with others. Yes I can have surface chitchat with someone for awhile but when it comes down to going deeper with someone I’m lost. I can blame the internet and social media. I can also blame technology but when it comes down to it I just wasn’t taught to go there with people.
Growing up I was bullied relentlessly, so opening up and being vulnerable was a huge risk. Then after being molested trust became very hard. To make matters worse, I got sick and I am not able to go out as much. In a world of people whose main goal is to please and treat self, it is hard for me to open all of these things to people.
We all see others as they want us to see them. But the fact is that we are all lonely and we all want people to be able to depend on. We want people to love us for who we are and we never want to get hurt. But we also know reality, everyone will hurt you. That doesn’t mean you don’t make the connection, it means you choose carefully who you make those connections with. We love people with no expectations of anything in return. We have to stop pretending that everything is okay by posting only the good things on social media. It’s only a mask to cover up the things that you are ashamed of. And what we are ashamed of, everyone else has gone through.
I have been working on opening my life up and not letting it have a hold on me. Bad things happen all the time. We make bad choices and we hurt people. We all think that our lives are horrible and we always have something we want to change about ourselves. I will be forever working on these things and I will forever be growing. But I refuse to hide everything from people. I don’t have many friends, but I hope by opening myself up people will feel less burdened by having to close themselves off. One day I hope I won’t be so afraid to try with people.
The only way to not be afraid of being rejected or backstabbed is to personally not be ashamed of your past and your feelings. It’s a lot harder to do then to say. But once you accept the things that have happened and don’t make them a secret, they can’t have a hold on you. If someone who you thought was a friend tries to use something you said against you, you won’t care if they tell the secret. You will care that that person choose to try to do that to you. I think that makes relationships a bit easier to have.
I also think that today we have a huge problem with loyalty and selfishness. We make decisions that benefit ourselves even when we throw others under the bus to do it. We also lack the patience to fix the problems we have with others. So we continue to replace people until we can’t anymore. We refuse to accept the person that is in front of us and try to mend fences with them. Because we are used to being able to upgrade. If my phone breaks I can get it fixed or I can just get a completely different phone. Most just choose to get a “better”model.
We need to start thinking of others and try to understand them. We need to communicate even when it might hurt someone’s feelings. If you are loving and honest with someone you are helping them be a better friend and person. If you don’t tell someone when they are doing something wrong how will they know to stop? Communication is very hard over the phone or through texting. They can’t hear tone or see facial expressions. 80% of communication is body language and we try to have serious deep conversations using only the 20%? How does that help the other person? It doesn’t because it makes it easier for you to tell them what you need to tell them.
To my generation, let’s defy our stereotypes and be selfless, personable, and physically present. We fight for people and their rights, so let’s get to know those people. We are already making waves, imagine what would happen if we weren’t afraid and we all went deeper.